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NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — He acquainted like an airy force was cartoon him into the parking lot, accomplished the four new white crosses in the driveway, the balloons and the flowers, and the belletrist addressed to the dead.

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He acquainted it affairs him into his approved spot, the one area he had been sitting in his car aback a stranger, three spaces over, stepped out of a barter accustomed an AR-15. He afraid himself by walking into the restaurant and sitting bottomward in his approved booth, which had consistently seemed like the best adequate bench in the apple — until all of a abrupt it didn’t.

At 3:25 a.m. on April 22, a Waffle House in Nashville abutting the growing account of admired American places morphed into the armpit of a massacre. And Chuck Cordero, a approved customer, abutting the growing account of survivors larboard traumatized and disturbing with how to move on.

Children generally accept little best but to acknowledgment to their schools afterwards a accumulation cutting and advisers charge acknowledgment to their offices. But 51-year-old Cordero anticipation at aboriginal he’d never appear aback here. Afresh he begin himself afresh and afresh aback at his Waffle House — No. 2,267 in the all-over alternation of chicken and atramentous storefronts that are accessible 24/7, 365 canicule a year.

The eateries are so built-in in American ability the federal government uses them afterwards hurricanes to advice barometer suffering: An accessible Waffle House signals achievement for recovery; a bankrupt one agency disaster. Cordero’s Waffle House was bankrupt for three days.

Four adolescent bodies died, the oldest of them a 29-year-old cook, Taurean Sanderlin, whom Cordero had consistently alleged “T.” He saw the apache shoot him in the parking lot, and now he feels accountable to appear back, assorted times a day, atrocious to adhere to a association he never accomplished he was so absorbed to until a man with a gun threatened to abort it.

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“I don’t apperceive why I’m accomplishing it,” Cordero says. “Maybe I appetite to accomplish abiding my accompany are OK. Maybe I appetite to apperceive that I’m OK. Maybe I don’t appetite to let the bad bodies win. I aloof don’t know.”

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Dozens of others feel it, too. The restaurant has been arranged afterwards the aggregation apprenticed to accord a month’s account of profits to the families of the victims, and bodies accept appear from hours away, insisting on affairs strangers’ meals.

Cordero is beholden but additionally acquisitive for this to be his accustomed Waffle House again, the abode area his admired waitress consistently had his coffee accessible aloof how he brand it, with chrism and three packets of Splenda. On the night of the shooting, her fiance, a cook, threw her to the arena and laid on top of her as bullets whizzed by.

Before all of this, Cordero had anticipation of the restaurant as a commonsensical stop, a abode to canyon the time amid calls on his brief about-face with a roadside abetment company. Though he’s not crazy about the anointed food, Cordero brand the bodies who baker and serve it, and the acquaintance of the jukebox and the ablaze beaming lights in the average of the night.

“Chuck’s a appropriate guy. But Chuck’s a accustomed guy for Waffle House,” says Jeff Camp, a administrator for the chain. “We accept a Chuck in every store: that guy that assembly know, that comes in every night, that sits in the aforementioned seat, eats the aforementioned food.”

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Now, bodies on the artery admit Cordero from the news, and he knows they beggarly able-bodied aback they stop him. “They say, ‘God absolve you. Nice to see you,’ and afresh I alpha cerebration to myself, ‘It’s nice to be here.’ And afresh I get all affecting about how abutting it came.”

He pictures himself dying — not the afterlife itself, but the account of it actuality delivered to his 5-year-old daughter, Emily. So he baldheaded his arch so that bodies ability stop acquainted him. He sometimes fantasizes about affective out to the mountains so his babe never has to feel abhorrence like this. He feels hopeless, like the cutting will never accomplish faculty and gun abandon will never be stopped.

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When he ran into a pastor one day alfresco the Waffle House, he told him, “It seems like the bad bodies are winning.”

The pastor replied: “They’re not winning.”

Cordero is disturbing to accept it: “They’re anarchic us. To me, that’s them winning. To me, befitting addition from activity into their restaurant afterwards activity afraid agency they won.”

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Then he feels abominable for activity so abominable because he lived and four others didn’t.

When he heard a association accumulation had planned a acuity absolutely one anniversary afterwards the shooting, at 3:25 a.m. Sunday morning, he pulled aback into the parking lot for the additional time that day. His admired waitress, Virginia Stanley, was cat-and-mouse for him at his spot, cutting a T-shirt she’d hand-painted with the byword “Waffle House Strong.” They hadn’t apparent anniversary added back the shooting, so they hugged and cried and he anon acquainted adequate — like things ability be accustomed again. They went central and slid into a berth forth with her fiance, Douglas Lauderdale.

Cordero had, for a week, struggled to acquisition the appropriate adjectives to back what had happened to them. Scary. Horrible. Devastating. None seemed big abundant to call it: the aboriginal glimpse of the gun, the blood, what it feels like to accede that inches or abnormal afar those who lived from those who didn’t.

But sitting with others who had accomplished it all, too: “I don’t accept to say that I was scared,” he says. “They were there. They apperceive that.”

Stanley promised Cordero she’d acknowledgment to assignment soon, and afresh she aloft her sleeve to appearance him a new tattoo: “spread love,” it said, with the L fatigued in the appearance of an orange ribbon.

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They should all get analogous ones, she told him, all of the survivors.

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